Sadie Rae’s Labor Story

Sadie Rae Brown was born on Saturday, November 7, 2009 at 6:01 am weighing in at 7 pounds 8 ounces and 20 inches long.

Intro

The moral to our labor story with Sadie Rae is whatever plans you have go out the window! We were planning on having an all natural Bradley Method birth experience…no drugs, no epidural, lots of relaxation, walking, breathing, and going to the hospital at the last minute simply to deliver and go home. That’s not at all what ended up happening.

NST to L&D

November 6 started out routine in going to the hospital to do another non-stress test because my Dr. was watching my blood pressure for preeclampsia. Every other non-stress test had been non-eventful, so we didn’t think much of it. But when we were there this time, the nurse wasn’t happy with Sadie’s lack of movement and heart rate when I was experiencing contractions. I was sent down to Labor and Delivery for more monitoring.

Not much changed when I was moved to labor and delivery, so my Dr. was contacted. Everyone agreed that for Sadie’s sake, we needed to induce. I started out on my own at 3 centimeters dilated and 60% effaced. I was bummed about inducing because it wasn’t natural and my number one “no no” was pitocin. I just didn’t want to do it. But I knew we needed to get Sadie out healthy, and I surrendered myself to the process. By 1:30 pm I was officially admitted into the hospital and the Pitocin began it’s dripping.  Even though I had to be on Pitocin, I made up my mind to still go natural regardless of the horror stories of pain I would endure with the contractions often times going back to back.

Oh, the medication

The first hour or so I didn’t feel any contractions even though I was having them on my own on a regular basis. It wasn’t until about 3:45 pm that I began to feel some intense pain. By now I was doing a lot of moaning and holding on to TJ through contractions for dear life. TJ did such an awesome job as coach in helping me focus, giving me lots of counter pressure, and telling me when the worst was over so I had something to look forward to. We both thought given my prior medical emergencies (which are many) that I would be screaming obscenities despite me being a Godly woman because of the pain….flashback to my wonderful kidney stone experience of 2006. But TJ really did keep me grounded during the most horrible contractions. Plus, I knew I had an amazing end result to the pain to focus on.

My nurse would come in intermittently to check on my progress because she knew we wanted to go as natural as possible with the least amount of people and intervention. When she came in at 6:00 pm and I still hadn’t moved from 3 cm, she started to get concerned. Again, she checked with the Dr. on duty at 9:00 pm and still nothing had changed. What did happen was the Dr. pointed out how incredibly narrow my pelvic arch was. He explained how it might pose a problem in getting Sadie to move down, which would be the reason I hadn’t been progressing at all. Sadie’s heart rate was also starting to show signs of distress.

Making choices

My Dr. called TJ and gave us two options to talk through. Choice #1 was to take an epidural to relax the muscles and see if I could dilate fully to delivery vaginally. Choice #2, go straight to C-section and get her out. We all conferred that we wanted to try and get me fully dilated and went for the epidural. I was so disappointed about having to get that done too…I had already been through hours of endless pain and even though it was horrible, I knew it was how God designed my body to deal with birth. I was bummed that I wasn’t going to be able to feel much of anything anymore. But again, we knew it was the best choice given the situation and was in the best interest of Sadie’s safe arrival.

So by 12:30 am I had the epidural. Wow does that thing work! At 2:00 am my nurse checked my progress and I was fully dilated to 10 centimeters from my previous 3 centimeters. The prospect of a vaginal delivery was looking up. But Sadie’s head hadn’t descended. At 5:00 am, things were exactly the same. Despite me being ready to push, Sadie’s head was far to high. In addition to that, my urine had turned to bloody indicting that her head was butting up against my bladder in an effort to unsuccessfully move down. This was now not a good situation for me or for Sadie.

Showtime

By 5:15 am, it was decided that we tried every avenue possible to avoid a C-section, but we needed to get her out. By 5:45 am I was in the OR and getting prepped for delivery. TJ and I were both disappointed that labor did not go anything like we wanted, but by now, we were ready to have our baby out safely.

C-section was surreal. I laid there on the table thinking that in minutes all the hours of pain, months of waiting would be over and I would be a mom to this little girl. I honestly thought a lot about my mom who also went through C-sections with all of us, wondering if the same thoughts went through her head laying there. I thought about what Sadie would look like, and worried about her being ok and hoping this C-section would really end up being the best decision for us.

It went fast. TJ walked in the OR dressed in his scrubs and ready to go. He talked to me, watched the surgery, took pictures, and reassured me the whole way. And then at 6:01 am, our baby girl made her debut into the world.  Amazing. No words can describe.

Complications

Our trip home from the hospital on Wednesday did not end up being our first. That night I suddenly couldn’t breathe well. When I took a breath in, all there was was a rattling noise. We immediately thought I had post-operative pneumonia like I had developed with my last surgery. We had to get me to the hospital. I had to leave Sadie behind with Nana Kay. It was the most gut-wrenching thing I have had to do because I knew I wasn’t going to see her the rest of the night and she was only 3 days old. It killed me to have to leave her.

Long story short, I ended up on the stroke unit for congestive heart failure. During my last few weeks of pregnancy in having high blood pressure I accumulated fluid. I was also given lots of fluids because of my C-section. Because of my high bloody pressure, my body didn’t get rid of the extra fluid after delivery. As a result, my heart failed and dumped fluid into my lungs. Scary stuff. Within 2 days, they drained over 9 liters of fluid off my body. I went one night and half a day without Sadie. It was one of the scariest things I’ve ever been through. I was so scared I wasn’t going to live to be her mom and that at age 25, I would be leaving TJ alone.

Luckily, I had great medical care by my Dr. and made a full recovery once all the extra fluid was drained off of me.

Back to my baby

Now we are making a slow, but full recovery and enjoying the amazing gift God has given us in our beautiful Sadie Rae. She is stubborn like her Mama, especially when it comes to nursing. She loves skin to skin time with Daddy and makes us laugh with all her little grunts and her amazing alertness at all hours of the night. We feel so lucky that God has entrusted us with her life and love being her parents.

 

Close Call!

This past Wednesday, we went into our normal weekly Dr. appointment to check on Baby Brown’s progress. As normal, they checked my blood pressure. It was high…very high. The nurse changed the cuff and checked again and it was still just as high. She waited a few minutes and repeated the process, and had the same results. Then she checked for protein in my sample, and sure enough, I had proteins.

My Dr. came in, quickly ran through the details of Preeclampsia, and sent us straight over to the hospital. She said we needed to prepare ourselves for an induction or possible emergency C-section that afternoon if nothing changed. Not what we were expecting. Luckily, my blood pressure came way down when I laid down in L&D for a while and they sent me home on bedrest, coming back to the hospital twice a week to check on me and baby until I deliver.

I’m glad I didn’t have to go through the long induction and that hopefully I will still be able to experience going into labor on my own and delivering naturally…hopefully. As scary as it was, TJ was thoroughly disappointed that we didn’t get to meet her Wednesday and ended up having to wait!

Any day now….any day!!!!

 

36 Weeks

Update: Weekly visits to the Dr. have commenced until her Birth Day! As of today, I am dilated 1 cm. so things are progressing and we’re moving in the right direction.  We can’t wait to see our little girl!

Here’s a sample of some pics the talented Uncle Dane took of us for our first “family” photo shoot!

 

Healthy Husband

I am so lucky to have a spiritually healthy, growing husband who keeps me accountable and encourages me through what is proving to be one of the most trying times of our marriage thus far. This is so difficult to write knowing that as I do, there is a small baby girl in my belly getting ready any day now to make her debut into the world….

We have officially hit the end of our savings. All of our money we worked so hard to save this past year despite a cut by half of our salary the year before  has gone toward paying my Cobra health insurance to make sure the baby and I are okay throughout the pregnancy. We don’t know where to go from here. Even though we don’t know what is next, I do know that I have the most resilant, faithful husband known to man.

Every day he gets up and repeats the same process he has for months. He spends hours sending out resumes and applications. He calls businesses near and far to see if they are hiring. He networks with anybody he can connect with who may have a lead. He goes on interviews only to be blown off and not even get a phone call to let him now they selected someone else a week ago.  He walks with his head up and a smile on his face into business after business straight to the manager and asks for a job so he can take care of his family. I don’t know how else he bears all of the stress on his shoulders other than the fact that he believes God can and will provide for our every need if he remains faithful.

As hard as it is to write our current reality down, I want to so our baby girl can know how hard her Daddy worked every day for not even a penny to try and bring her into a world where we could take care of her. Even though it hasn’t happened yet for us, we take comfort in knowing that despite worldly possesions and being able to spend money without a second thought, she is coming into a healthy marriage, a healthy home, and parents and extended family who couldn’t love her more.

TJ and I were sitting in church the other night at our weekly marriage seminar series we are going through and were feeling defeated. Then he whipped out the bible in front of us, turned to this passage, read it, and then gave it to me. This is the passage that keeps things in perspective for us:

Matthew 6:25-34

Do Not Be Anxious

25 “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27 And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? [1] 28 And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, 29 yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 30 But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31 Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

34 “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

 

The Brown Blues

Maybe it’s the wonderful pregnancy hormones. Maybe it’s grappling with the reality of our current situation.  It’s probably both, but I’ve got the blues. It has been really frustrating to apply to so many companies, and even to be strung along by one in particular for over 2 months with no answer still about a job for TJ when we both know we have a deadline to meet (Baby Brown’s arrival), and he is more than qualified for the positions he is applying for.

Last week, one of our pastors spoke about praying through something and sometimes not being able to have a cohesive thought to even speak to God,  yet He still understands. My prayers have been exactly that because of the sheer panic and disparity I feel like I have been in lately.

God hears something like this from me multiple times a day…

Baby.

Born.

Hospital.

Insurance.

Money.

Co-payments.

Necessity.

Scared.

How much longer?

Help.

When?

Diapers.

Food.

Want own home.

Discouraged.

Not us.

Nesting.

Baby crying, mom crying.

You’re in control.

Running out of time.

Poor TJ.

Not permanent…don’t worry. I’m worried.

Burnt out.

Clothes.

Trusting you.

Almost over?

I have no idea how much longer we will go without a job. I do know that for every job we apply for, there are an average of 500 people applying for the very same one. Only God can supply our needs. Only He can give us what is perfect for us in His time. It’s just difficult to hold on to the hope of His perfect timing when we don’t know the date it will all be over.

I pray it happens soon so we can bring our baby into the world without this big burden on our shoulders.

 

Another 3D/4D-30 weeks

We put in our DVD to watch our little Baby Brown do her thing, and the DVD froze! We freaked out, called the store to see if they saved the stuff or not so we could get another copy made, and they didn’t! What they did do was bring us in for another 3D/4D to make another video of her so we could have a record. So, at 30 weeks, we got to see our little one in action again.

She still loved her hands in her face, loved to suck on her toes as much as possible, gave us some good smiles, and in good Grandma Shara fashion, stuck out her tongue multiple times (probably because she was mad at me for overdoing it the day before)!

We were amazed to see how much she grew in 2 weeks…bigger cheeks, more defined lips, etc. She’s so beautiful! Here’s some snapshots:

 

3D/4D Ultrasound

We had the chance to go to our 3D/4D ultrasound tonight (8/26) with the whole family in tow! The moment our little one flashed up on the screen in 4D, it hit TJ and I like a ton of bricks that we were looking at OUR baby! She made us laugh, made me cry, and made both of us that much more excited that we get to be her parents!

She loved to have her right hand in her face almost the whole time no matter what position I tried. She also likes her feet in her face! She yawned, opened her eyes, smiled, and sucked her thumb. Best of all, she struck some awesome model poses like a true girl!

It’s hard to believe that on Friday I will be 29 weeks along! We are so excited for our baby girl’s arrival!

She’s God’s creation and such a beautiful reminder of the miracle of life He forms!

 

TJ’s Baptism

This past Sunday the whole fam went to Corona del Mar for TJ’s baptism! The best part about it was Matt got to do the honors! It was a wonderful time to see TJ proclaim his faith in such a public way with about 80 other Calvary people!

 

6 Months Prego Already!!!

21 week ultrasound

Time is certainly flying by! It feels like yesterday I was worrying about making it through the first trimester without having to hug the toilet all day long. Now, I am 6 months pregnant, 24 weeks, and it’s really beginning to sink in that I will be a mommy to this baby girl of mine in just a few more months. Every time TJ and I get into the car now, we look at the backseat, which is now sitting completely empty and untouched, and say out loud, “It won’t be long now.”

What’s baby doing now?

She’s beginning to be really predictable as far as movement goes. She usually wakes up first thing in the morning for some gymnastics in my belly. Then she’s quiet until about 3:00 in the afternoon when she starts in again for a half hour or so. Then she’s out again until 7-10ish. TJ finally felt her kick this past week and was so excited to finally feel her!

How’s mama doing?

I’m feeling big. Some days it’s hard to breathe, most days it’s difficult to sleep, and almost always my hips are killing me! Sleeping is sometimes more exhausting than being awake…I just feel like a flopping fish out of water trying to find a comfortable position to sleep in. I’m anticipating the last trimester to be a little more difficult than the rest of my pregnancy because I’m just so short and there’s really no room for her to go but out. I have to say that I can’t complain because thus far, this pregnancy has been completely without any complications, and I really haven’t experienced all that much morning sickness, etc.

How’s daddy doing?

TJ can’t wait for this baby girl to come! He’s been such a great hubby through this whole pregnancy in staying on top of my water, and feeding me all my crazy cravings without complaint! He’s also been handling the stress of the move back to California and the difficulty finding a job so well. He keeps reminding me that everything will be ok, that God is going to give us exactly what we need, and that he is the one who needs to stress providing for our new family, not me. My job is to make sure our baby girl grows well in there! I love TJ for being such a great leader.

Pray for…

-TJ to get his old job back with Liberty Mutual this week and that his old boss will gladly take him in again!

-We’ll find the perfect place to live close by family to raise our girl for the next couple of years.

-Baby girl will continue to grow well & I’ll stay healthy for the remainder of the pregnancy.

 

It’s a…

GIRL!

We were all shocked! Everyone, us included, thought for sure we would be having a boy.

We can’t wait to bring this little girl into the world!!!

Here’s a couple more picks of her from the appointment: