Jonah’s Birth Story

Jonah Dylan Brown was born on Wednesday, October 12, 2011 at 6:10 pm weighing in at 8 pounds 14 ounces and 19 inches long.

Well, we really did try everything to have a natural, non-medicated VBAC. But after almost 41 weeks of being pregnant with a little boy whose belly was no longer so little, it became apparent to us rather quickly that a VBAC was no longer a viable option. Our Jonah was measuring big so we had to think seriously about his risk for shoulder dystocia and the safety of me doing a labor that could easily end up in another emergency C-section after a long labor and a serious medical emergency for him. After weighing the risks and the pros and cons with our amazing OBGYN, we all decided together it would be in the best interest for us all to go ahead and do a repeat C-section.

At first I was torn up about the prospect of going under the knife again, but once we decided the benefits of Jonah’s safety far outweighed my desire to push, I was more than fine with the decision.

We thought we would be scheduling the C-section for Friday, Oct. 14, but my OBGYN called me on the morning of Wednesday, Oct. 12 and said it sounded like a nice, strong birth day for a baby boy. I was really happy to be surprised like that for the day of to have our boy because it ended up feeling a little bit more like I was actually in labor….caught off guard and elated beyond belief that that would be THE day.

So we rushed around the house packing last minute things after TJ flew home from work, resumed a “normal” last morning with Sadie and were at the hospital checking in by 3:00 pm.

Getting prepped for surgery should have been a cake walk, but we found out my blood work from 3 weeks prior showed I was severely anemic and hadn’t been treated for it. This meant if my levels were still the same or worse, I could need a blood transfusion during surgery. Not good. So they took my blood again, rushed it to the lab, and luckily it came back a little better to put me out of the woods.

But then the nurse tried putting the IV in. Twice. Then the other nurse did. Twice. Then the blood lab guy tried. Twice. And finally the anesthesiologist tried. And failed. Failed again. And then finally got it. Lets just say that being a human pin cushion while waiting for important blood results to be able to go under the knife is not the best feeling.

I cried.

Like a newborn baby.

Once I was squared away, TJ got into scrubs and we went in for the C-section. With music on in the background, it was fast, it was easy, and it was so good.

When they pulled Jonah out , the took the curtain down so I could watch him enter the world. He was so handsome and everything I had envisioned.

His cry made my heart so full.TJ got to cut the cord, after it stopped pulsating like we wanted.Recovery this time around has been a breeze compared to Sadie’s birth. Jonah has been doing great despite having to go under bili lights for 24 hours due to him having a hard time with being incompatible with my blood type.TJ and I actually enjoyed our stay in post pardum. We saw Sadie every night and she left with her Nana & Papa as happy as could be. TJ and I treated the rest of the time with Jonah like a vacation. Great nurses waiting on our every need, cable TV, good snacks, and quality time together. I left the hospital actually feeling refreshed.Our Jonah loves to cuddle, breastfeed, and sleep…and poop. And we couldn’t be any more in love than we are right now.

Welcome to the world Jonah Dylan.

Yep….Still Baking

Despite 3 major false labor alarms, I’m still pregnant! The last false alarm 2 weeks ago was the closest and most convincing yet:

• Went to sleep on a Sunday night with some doozy contractions
• Woke up in the morning with some wonderful early labor experiences I will leave out for your own sake
• Called TJ home from work because my contractions became regular and too painful for me to handle on my own anymore
• My Dad took Sadie to work with him so I could concentrate on laboring
• And finally, by 8:30 pm that night contractions were 4 minutes apart for over an hour, so we were about to leave for the hospital and then….
• POOF…GONE. Contractions stopped.

Now I find myself at 40 weeks pregnant with a placenta that has seen its better days and a baby that refuses to drop and get this show on the road.

He’s really making me squirm because I am finding myself at a deadline in being able to safely and successfully VBAC. If he doesn’t come by Tuesday afternoon, it will be a hard conversation in making the best decision with our Dr. in how we should proceed.

So, Operation Get Baby Boy Brown Out of Mommy’s Uterus is in full effect in this house. Whether it’s eating spicy food, walking, induction massages, downing pineapple, lunges, etc. I am trying it all with the hope that I can convince this little man that we really are cool people he would like to be around. Even Sadie told him to “come out and play” and “eat pretzels with Sadie Rae” today.

I spent last night crying and feeling sorry for myself at the prospect that I may have to surrender to a repeat C-section if it becomes apparent tomorrow at my ultrasound that he isn’t okay baking in there anymore. I was mourning the fact that my body doesn’t seem to be moving on a good time table, that I would lose out on being able to push on my own, recovery would be difficult, the hospital bill would be much bigger of a burden, more time would be spent away from Sadie, I would be out of commission much longer, etc.

But today, I woke up a fighter. I’ve come this far in the pregnancy doing all the right things for myself and this baby. I have trusted God to carry him healthfully along to our arms. And regardless of the way it happens, it’s already a miracle in and of itself.

I just can’t wait to see that little trouble maker of mine!

Take Two

You know when you have those days when you just feel off? You feel like you walk around all day on the verge of tears, yet can’t specifically put your finger on why? It’s just a lot of emotions overwhelming you all at once and none of them you really can do much about?

I went into the Dr. yesterday for my weekly check-up on Baby Boy. It wasn’t really a bad appointment at all. I was sort of stressed about asking him questions about circumcising for the Bris and how on earth we could work it out so we won’t go into debt paying for it since our health insurance seems to think it shouldn’t be covered as a newborn procedure if you do it on the 8th day as opposed to before discharge from the hospital. Who cares that we’re trying to follow a religious rite of passage. But we worked it out. Stress over.

I also lost 7 pounds in the past week! It didn’t make any sense to me because I feel like I’m retaining a lot more fluid at this point, and we ate out literally every meal this past week with my MIL visiting from out of state and being busy all over creation, but it’s true. Maybe it’s because I feel full all the time and can’t get much of anything down at this point. Total weight gain for pregnancy is below 30 pounds (as I pat myself on the back).

The bad news was that my blood pressure was up. Too high. Not scary high, but high enough that he checked me for Pre-eclampsia. Luckily, it came back negative. I was given orders to relax, take stress out of my life, get a massage (rough, I know), and get my blood pressure checked for the next 3 days.

If you know my story with Sadie, just the fact that this is happening to me right now at this point makes me uneasy. It immediately had my head swirling with horrible outcomes I experienced as a result of this the last go around…

• Induction
• Painful, long labor
• Not ever getting the chance to push
• Emergency C-section
• Not being able to breath and not knowing why
• Gestational heart failure
• Leaving Sadie on her 3rd day of life
• No control
• Creating an unforeseen financial disaster that was only averted thanks to generous strangers

This entire pregnancy I have been praying that God would make this time different. That He would keep me and this unborn baby healthy, out of harms way, and allow me the blessing of experiencing labor how I have always desired it…especially after an experience like last time.

I have taken good care of myself. Ate healthfully (with allowance for cravings), exercised, watched weight gain like a hawk, and paid attention to my body and what it needed.

I’ve been thinking positively about labor. Natural labor. Going into labor naturally. Working on my hesitations and fears as a result of last time.

I know God already knows the day of Baby Boy’s impending birth. He knows the circumstances before, during, and after. He has ordained it all and is in control. I am confident in those things.

For you formed my inward parts;you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. 

-Psalm 139:13-15

I guess there is just a part of me that is mourning the fact that I have no control whatsoever and may very well be looking down a similar road I encountered the first time around.

I pray that it isn’t.

Please pray with me…

To the End

Yesterday was a big Dr. day for me…

I went back to my Cardiologist for test results that could make or break the kind of birth we’re hoping to have (all-natural, unmedicated VBAC). Weeks prior I was experiencing a lot of heart palpatations that would result in me having to sit down in a cold sweat from doing nothing at all and seeing spots or feeling like I was going to pass out for a good 15 minutes.

Despite my clean bill of health when I left the hospital after my gestational heart failure with Sadie’s birth, my OBGYN urged me to double check that something wasn’t overlooked so we could both relax. Hindsight, I should have urged him to pay the medical bill to run the tests.

Praise God my heart is in perfect condition and the palpitations I have been experiencing are almost certainly due to increased blood flow with the pregnancy. 

On to more good news, by this time with Sadie’s pregnancy I was already swollen, showing signs of pre-eclampsia, going in and out of the hospital for NST’s and gaining a ton of weight because of all the fluid retention that led to my heart failure in the end. But, this time I have no swelling, my blood pressure is almost lower than my non-prego norm of normal, I’m still wearing my shoes and wedding ring with no problem, and I’ve only gained 27 pounds in total.

The other interesting thing is that my OB is almost sure little boy will be early. As soon as he lifted my shirt to check on the boy, my stomach tightened. In his words, “Wow. Can you feel that?! You’re having a major contraction right now.” We waited in the room to see if I would have more and sure enough, 8 minutes later I felt a doosy that took my breath away. He told me to try and keep Baby Boy in for 2 more weeks, but to go home and pack our bags because he’s already dropped (I could tell because full waddling is in effect and my heartburn is so much better with more room in there).

And as luck would have it, I had a good amount of painful, regular contractions again last night that dissipated into nothing. But something is going on in there and it’s earlier than expected.

We had a feeling. Guess I should pack our bags! (Watch…all this talk and he ends up being late!)

 

Out of Control

Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It empties today of its strength.- Corrie Ten Boom

Today I had one of my last ultrasounds for this pregnancy. As excited as I was to see my baby boy again, I have to be honest… I felt completely out of control.

I was laying there on my back thinking about what an eventful day today was even though it wasn’t even 11:00 am yet:

• A 7 month old baby was thrown off of a parking structure at a local Children’s hospital just a couple miles from our home by his own Mother suffering from postpartum depression.
• A friend of mine is in the hospital with blood clots on her lungs caused by a medication she was taking.
• Another is in the ICU because of an aneurism after surgery last week.
• Another has been in isolation because of contracting Tuberculosis from her teaching job.
• And another dear friend lost her 10 week old baby.
• And there was an 5.9 earthquake back east.

All in one day this is going on.

I was admittedly a little frightened to be laying there, having a medical professional look at my unborn son on a day like today. I was waiting for something unexpected to happen to me.

I was laying there once again realizing that I am completely out of control. God is the one and only who sees, allows, and solves all of these things.

Once my appointment was over, I finally took a deep breath. It hit me that God desires us all to just take a deep breath. No matter the circumstance or hardship, worrying about catastrophic events in our lives or the lives of others does nothing.

Giving it all to Him is the only thing we can do. So I did.

Matthew 6:34  “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

Matthew 11:28-30  Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

Luke 12:25 And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his  span of life?

John 14:27 Peace I leave with you;my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you.Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.

3D/4D Ultrasound of Baby Boy Brown

This week we had the opportunity to get a little glimpse of our boy! We learned 3 things about him:

1. He was very busy playing with the umbilical cord in front of his face. I could actually feel him tugging as I watched the screen!

2. We also know that this boy will have hair! Probably a very good amount! Did you know that the old wives-tale about heartburn meaning you will have a baby with hair holds water? The protein that is responsible for growing hair causes heartburn! I’ve had a lot of heartburn, and this boy has a good amount of hair going.

3. He and Sadie look so much alike! We came home and compared 4D ultrasound pictures from her at 28 weeks next to his at 32 weeks and they almost look identical except you can tell he is a boy and she is a girl. But they have the same face structure, nose, chin, etc. Look for yourself (Sadie on the left, baby boy on the right):

Can’t wait to meet you baby boy!

Preparing an Older Sibling for a New Baby

I have no doubt that Sadie is going to be a great big sister. She’s very social, very affectionate, and loves babies. We’ve been preparing her for her brother throughout this entire pregnancy by talking about him and she now spontaneously will go up to my belly and hug him, kiss him, talk to him, and most of all, ticky (tickle) him.

As much as she loves him right now on the inside, we know our Sadie. And our Sadie will have her little world turned upside down. It’s not gonna be pretty. There will be lots of tears, lots of fits, and lots of attention needed for reassurance. The focus will inevitably have to be divided and she will have to learn much more about sharing her life. It’s the reality.

To ease the shock I know we’re all in for, TJ and I have been preparing a gift basket little by little for her to receive once the baby is born. This is mostly to give her something new and exciting to do during the hours upon hours of nursing I will be doing and to make sure she knows we haven’t forgotten her in the process of integrating our new arrival.

Her basket will include items that she can handle independently and without much supervision. Here’s what it will look like when finished:

• Baby Doll (she can change diapers alongside us, nurse, hold, rock, etc.)
• Coloring Books
• Markers/Crayons
• A couple new books
• Ball
• Truck (so she can teach her brother, of course)
• Foam stacking blocks and/or Aquadoodle mat/puzzles

Third Trimester

How far along? 28 weeks

Food cravings? If you must know, your organic loving, healthy-minded Jessie wants nothing but a chili hot dog (dog must have a snap when you bite into it) doused in fresh chopped onions and a tiny bit of sharp cheddar cheese. Top that off with a snickers bar and some of Trader Joe’s grapefruit Italian soda and I’m simply left speechless.

Who says that doesn’t sound a-m-a-z-i-n-g?!!!

I disgust myself, really.

Only consolation to this odd craving is that I’ve only gained 15 pounds for the entire pregnancy so far. And I’m taking my prenatals. And I like fruit. And salad.

Weird pregnancy symptoms? Oh, the heartburn. Maybe if I didn’t eat something like the silly hot dog I could make it through the day. Honestly though, water gives me heartburn.

Baby movement?  Little boy is such an active baby compared to Sadie (her placenta was in the front so I couldn’t feel much). I’m hoping this means he’s decided to move from sitting indian-style deep down in my pelvis to head down and ready to exit the right way. We’ll see at my next prenatal appointment this week. He usually goes full throttle with the karate chops at 9:00-10:30 am, 2:30-3:00ish pm, and again for a couple hours at night starting around 9:00 pm.

Something learned?  I can’t do everything I want to do. I’m really starting to slow down and I have to pick and choose the things that are most important to me that I want to reserve my energy for. I have to let the dishes sit in the sink. I have to leave the toys on the floor. And I have to not feel guilty that TJ has to come home from work and pick up a lot of the slack. It reminds me a lot of my Endo days and my biggest lesson of “Doing what you can and do it well.”

Best moment from this past week?  I was sitting on the couch and my belly started moving all over the place. I called Sadie over to watch and she put her hands on my belly. He immediately gave a good kick right where her hand was resting. Sadie was shocked and said, “Broda sirry (brother silly).” It was such a sweet moment. I can’t wait for them to meet!

Sex Party-Boy or Girl?

Well, it’s been a whirlwind of a week. We have had Sadie’s Nana B in from Texas and she and Sadie have been playing hard since she got off the plane!

On Thursday afternoon, TJ and I went to THE ultrasound. We were joking with each other sitting there saying we were on a date. Guess it’s been too long since we were actually alone together.

The ultrasound went off without a hitch and our little baby was fully cooperative.

So, yesterday we had a great crew of our family and friends over in the backyard for the traditional Sex Party.

What’s a Sex Party?

The tradition started with my oldest brother and his wife. You go to get the ultrasound, but don’t let them tell you what you’re having. They write it down in an envelope with a picture of a confirmation from the ultrasound. You then think of a creative way to reveal the sex of your baby with everyone you love so you all find out together. The suspense is awesome!

With Sadie, we had our Sex Party on the anniversary of my Mom’s death. So we decided to make it special and do a balloon reveal so Sadie’s Nana could catch the balloons up in heaven.

This time, we went to Carters with our envelope. We picked out a boy and a girl outfit. We went up to the cashier with some cash and explained our scheme. When we left, the cashier opened the envelope to find out which outfit to wrap. She then wrapped the correct outfit in the box with the ultrasound results while we were out on our date.

Fast forward to the Sex Party where we opened the box and found out if we had a boy outfit or a girl outfit…

We’re having a……

BOY!!!!!

We couldn’t be more excited for this little boy to make his mark in our family. Sadie will be much more normal playing with her cars now, and we don’t have to rack our brains for a girl name! In all seriousness, we feel so blessed for this healthy baby boy who will be such a wonderful addition to our family and a great little brother to Sadie.

Menu Plan & Giveaway Winner!

At my monthly prenatal appointment this past week to see our Baby Brown again, the Dr. walked in and congratulated me on doing such a fabulous job at my 10 pound weight gain for being just about half way through this pregnancy. I immediately started laughing not knowing how on earth I only gained 1 pound this entire past month given the fact that I had raided the change jar on our desk for Taco Bell nachos not once, but 4 times last week. I was expecting to get weighed and then cry at what a horrible thing I had done!

After confirming to my Dr. that I do fit in an apple every now and then for the sake of the baby and don’t survive on processed, canned cheese, he assured me that giving in every once and a while is okay, especially if I’m practicing good portion control. Luckily those 89 cent nachos aren’t nearly as big as I would like them to be!

But here’s what sounds good for dinner this week:

1. Falafel & Salad
2. Southwestern Eggrolls & Brown Rice
3. Grilled Pizza w/Ricotta & Pesto
4. Wet Bean & Cheese Burritos & Salad
5. Pasta, Salad & Homemade French Garlic Bread

Freezer Cooking/Extras:

• Homemade whole wheat bread
• Breakfast Egg & Cheese Burritos
• Pancakes

Thanks to those who participated in my first blog giveaway for the chance to win an entire year of menu planning on Relish! I put the names in TJ’s baseball hat, closed my eyes, and swirled around until I arrived at the winner….

Congratulations to Lauren (kraketopus)! You should have an email with directions on how your prize is claimed.