Maybe it’s the wonderful pregnancy hormones. Maybe it’s grappling with the reality of our current situation. It’s probably both, but I’ve got the blues. It has been really frustrating to apply to so many companies, and even to be strung along by one in particular for over 2 months with no answer still about a job for TJ when we both know we have a deadline to meet (Baby Brown’s arrival), and he is more than qualified for the positions he is applying for.
Last week, one of our pastors spoke about praying through something and sometimes not being able to have a cohesive thought to even speak to God, yet He still understands. My prayers have been exactly that because of the sheer panic and disparity I feel like I have been in lately.
God hears something like this from me multiple times a day…
How much longer?
Want own home.
Baby crying, mom crying.
You’re in control.
Running out of time.
Not permanent…don’t worry. I’m worried.
I have no idea how much longer we will go without a job. I do know that for every job we apply for, there are an average of 500 people applying for the very same one. Only God can supply our needs. Only He can give us what is perfect for us in His time. It’s just difficult to hold on to the hope of His perfect timing when we don’t know the date it will all be over.
I pray it happens soon so we can bring our baby into the world without this big burden on our shoulders.