I am so lucky to have a spiritually healthy, growing husband who keeps me accountable and encourages me through what is proving to be one of the most trying times of our marriage thus far. This is so difficult to write knowing that as I do, there is a small baby girl in my belly getting ready any day now to make her debut into the world….
We have officially hit the end of our savings. All of our money we worked so hard to save this past year despite a cut by half of our salary the year before has gone toward paying my Cobra health insurance to make sure the baby and I are okay throughout the pregnancy. We don’t know where to go from here. Even though we don’t know what is next, I do know that I have the most resilant, faithful husband known to man.
Every day he gets up and repeats the same process he has for months. He spends hours sending out resumes and applications. He calls businesses near and far to see if they are hiring. He networks with anybody he can connect with who may have a lead. He goes on interviews only to be blown off and not even get a phone call to let him now they selected someone else a week ago. He walks with his head up and a smile on his face into business after business straight to the manager and asks for a job so he can take care of his family. I don’t know how else he bears all of the stress on his shoulders other than the fact that he believes God can and will provide for our every need if he remains faithful.
As hard as it is to write our current reality down, I want to so our baby girl can know how hard her Daddy worked every day for not even a penny to try and bring her into a world where we could take care of her. Even though it hasn’t happened yet for us, we take comfort in knowing that despite worldly possesions and being able to spend money without a second thought, she is coming into a healthy marriage, a healthy home, and parents and extended family who couldn’t love her more.
TJ and I were sitting in church the other night at our weekly marriage seminar series we are going through and were feeling defeated. Then he whipped out the bible in front of us, turned to this passage, read it, and then gave it to me. This is the passage that keeps things in perspective for us:
Do Not Be Anxious
25 “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27 And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?  28 And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, 29 yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 30 But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31 Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
34 “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.