The Unexpected

Psalm 73:26
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.

DISCLAIMER: I thought long and hard before writing this down for public view. I decided to go forward with it regardless of the outcome because I want to be a living testimony to the fact that it’s never too early…and I would appreciate you coming alongside us to pray our way through.

I was expecting this day to come some time. But when I went to my OBGYN this morning for what I thought would be a polite 5 minute conversation about a mild breastfeeding related breast infection followed by a prescription that I could fill in time to have Sadie back home for her afternoon nap turned into something way more sobering, it simply came out of left field for me and took my breathe away.

She found a lump.

I winced in throbbing pain.

It did not look good.

She started asking more questions.

It raised some red flags.

She immediately began questioning me about family history with cancer and suggested I do the genetic testing right away to see if I am a positive carrier for my Mom’s BRCA gene, so I did.  I have to wait 2 weeks for the results.

She then referred me out to a breast surgeon for an ultrasound, possible biopsy, and MRI for tomorrow. They work quickly, but I don’t know when I will know.

To be honest, I am not at all surprised by this. I just thought I would be writing this 10 years from now for some reason. But it is now officially not out of the realm of possibility that I do in fact have the very disease that stole my Mom so soon eating away at my own body.

If it isn’t, I will praise God for sparing me.

If it is, I will praise God for His perfect timing, His hand in my life, and the support I will have to endure and fight what is ahead of me.

Please pray for strength to wait patiently for good news or not so good news. Pray for our little family who has not had a smooth year and could use a little emotional break. Pray for the physical pain to subside so I can continue feeding Sadie.

The hardest part is waiting and not knowing.

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6 thoughts on “The Unexpected

  1. I’m so humbled by your reaction no matter the turnout: Praise God. Yes, let’s praise Him in all things, for He alone sustains us and is the giver of life. You are a wonderful mother and wife and I will definitely be praying for you over the next few weeks! Please keep us posted. Love you!

  2. Oh, Jessie,
    This takes my breath away.

    I pray for you and your family: for strength, for courage in the face of overwhelming fear, for faith to know that He holds you in the palm of His hands, for comfort in the Ruach HaKodesh, and for the boldness to keep on praising the One Who is enthroned upon the praises of His people.

    Much, much love to you. Keep us posted.
    Madelyn

  3. Oh Jessie,
    Your post gave me chills. I, too, am humbled and convicted by your choice to praise the Lord no matter the outcome. You have been a living testimony long before this moment and your life will continue to testify to the grace and sovereignty of our Lord. You are right, His timing is perfect and this has not caught Him by surprise. Who knows, but that this might be why you and your family didn’t make the move to Dallas so that you could be surrounded and uplifted by close friends and family during this time. We love you very much and Will and I will be lifting you and your family up in prayer. Trusting in the Lord with you…
    -Claire

  4. Pingback: Juicing Project: Beets for Your Breasts « The Brown Bag

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