We’ve been dealing with debt for a long time. And to be honest, I’m angry.
It’s not like we were irresponsible people. We didn’t go opening multiple credit cards so we could go shopping and live in extravagance buying things we couldn’t afford.
I won’t get into exactly how it all unfolded, but I will say that it was a set of life circumstances that nobody could foresee and when the storm hit, it was raining too hard to see the next step. It was just survival. And despite it all, it was probably a decision that saved me.
And now it is reality. For a long time.
And I’m angry.
I’m angry that it holds me back.
I’m even more angry it holds my husband back from a dream that may never come to fruition.
I’m angry that I’m faced with it when I was doing something right and now it feels like a punishment.
I’m angry I can’t just wave some magic wand and make it all disappear so we can move on with our lives.
I’m angry that my kids may very well feel the affects and be old enough to remember it when they look back at their childhood.
I’m angry that it’s so difficult sometimes to live like no one else now so we can live like no one else later when that “later” feels like “never.”
But just before my anger turns into despair, I cling onto hope.
I have hope that there will be an end because God promises when you are faithful with the little bits, God will trust you with much more (Luke 16:10).
And we are.
The good thing about the anger of it all raging inside me is that it is a brutal force that facilitates change.
So, if you are in the same boat as we are and have a long way to go, don’t lose hope. Grab hold of the anger, acknowledge it, and get going. There are things to be done.
Turn the anger into determination.
Next time I’ll give you an example of something new we are doing to make a difference. Dave Ramsey will be proud.