To be honest, the last thing I have wanted to write lately is about our beloved weekly Menu Plans. I still stick to doing it for the sake of staying on budget, but writing about food when all I do is think about food and the lack of it actually staying in Jonah’s belly is an emotional topic for me at the moment.
We still have no answer for what is wrong with him and there is something wrong.
For about a month and a half it seemed like everything had miraculously fixed itself and all we had to deal with was food allergies. His screaming and crying all day writhing in some indescribable pain every day had stopped suddenly and he was the happiest little guy.
But in the last few weeks things took a turn in the wrong direction. It started with gagging himself. At first we thought he was just doing it for attention or playing a game. But then gagging turned into throwing up. Then it was just throwing up all the time at meals or right after eating. Self-gagging or not, it doesn’t stay down. It went from eating normal (allergy-friendly) whole, table foods to regressing back to purees, and now hardly anything all day without throwing it all back up again.
The screaming and crying started back again today, especially when it’s meal time. People in public looked at me like I was crazy this morning because I was attempting to run my errands with a boy who was beside himself no matter what I did. There is nothing I can do to make it better. He would be the same way at home, so I might as well get something done. That kills me.
This whole ordeal is heart wrenching. There’s no other way to describe it when something you need to survive is hurting your child and you can’t figure out what it is and it’s taken this long to have answers.
So, food is all that revolves in my brain. I spend all day thinking about trying new snacks, baking new things he might keep down, cooking something he won’t refuse, spacing food out, trying to offer nursing more, stressing his liquids, his wet diapers, his poops per day, his weight loss, his vitamin intake, his nutrition, his sleep habits, his demeanor, his…
We’re starting the diagnosis process day after tomorrow. Pray for him.
Right now I just hate food.
Here’s what we’re eating despite it all this week:
- Chicken Sausage with Roasted Veggies
- Maple Butternut Squash Soup
- GF Felafel
- Quinoa Stir-fry
- Vegan Pesto